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eh whats my age again whats my age again [02 Sep 2015|09:31pm]
[ mood | content ]

Yo. I can't ever remember what day it is. Wednesday, ugh. Already. So many days are the same.

Today I ventured in the city with Mike and purchased a new cell phone. A samsung s6--- and i gotta admit it's pretty fucking sweet. I never purchase new phones / electronics. Basically everything I own is mike's hand me downs. It's great. Granted, I probably didn't need it as much as I felt like i did. My last phone they told me is worthless and not functioning that well - they wouldn't even take it. So I just have it as a backup. Finally a phone I can use practically and take 4k video with 16 megapixels(???!!!? ) Nerd excitement. No need for a camera now. I am consumed at the moment. It wasn't as big of a financial stab as it could have been, which I feel fortunate for and wouldn't have done otherwise. It's so linked to google which obviously freaks me out, but is really amazing for work purposes and it's just actually so much more advanced for a tech person ( i feel) than iphone. It's international and i can actually store ANYTHING on it for once. Idk. It seems like a good fit. The only thing annoying is the SMS imessage thing, but I have unlimited so I don't really care.

Then I bought some really cheap stuff at the thrift stores near my place. Mike got a shirt (lol) and I got this weird brown 70s dress that has a semi-pucci designs with modern figures worked into it. Also a floral/ chinese inspired 70s blouse. All wildly uncomfortable for this weather (polyester) but will make a lot of sense come October. Also a pretty new version of converse that were basically unworn so I can throw my old ones out.

I seriously need to update what I actually choose to wear outside because I honestly look like a manic person who just woke up almost every day. Like why the fuck am i just wearing a sloppy t shirt and leggings and hair in a bun? ugh. why do i even have to care. I think I just have to care because I spend so much of my finances on clothing. Sucked into capital. Sucked into what I hate. Well, at least it's all mostly second hand...but idk. Maybe I would feel better if I dressed closer to my true imagined self. This whole image thing constantly affects my mood. So banal honestly

Also finally purchased the server!#%!#%!!!!!!!! It's SO SWEET. It's fucking happening PEOPLE! It is going to be so damn easy besides the program updates - which I really do feel we can work around. Having a meeting with Pey at some point this week to have her write some statements for the blurb image as well as what to say in the emails to and get some artists to contribute design images/pieces. So many thoughts. All need to be simplified. We should hear about the grant at some point mid-month. By that time Deb will be here and Francesca's wedding. Ahhh. going fast.

REALLY DAMN STOKED about this project. We will protect it with our all. <3

Also think I landed a job for end of this week / all of next week thru Lewis as usual with a client I have worked for in the past. Idk why all the jobs i've been getting through them have been pretty womp womp but I think they are also at a slow point. We will see how it goes. I hope it's not too stressful, but even if it is I need that $$$

ok not much else to say. Oh I ordered a wig too for a photoshoot. this post is all about buying apparently lol

Still needing to clean up, god damn. Our place is constantly mayhem gah

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deep thoughts from a shitty band [31 Aug 2015|11:55pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

yeah, going to ref. some shitty lyrics, headsup
this:

"all i know is my ego is a room without a view." BOOM

deep feels for that one. That shit hit me hard @ 13. Still doing it. All of the songs always move me still. Are you mad? I agree. Are you sad? I agree. Are you lost? Me 2. Are you somewhat in bad taste? Me also. Does it ever end? No.
a room without view

also this:
"From a silverspoon
Think I need some of that
Breathing room
Do you hear
The ringing in my ear
Am I the only one
Who can make myself
Disappear
Fed up of repeating myself
You are looking for something I haven't got
Fed ex dreams when things are too slow
Only let you know what you need to know"

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lmaoooooo SURVEYS! [31 Aug 2015|11:09pm]
[ mood | amused ]

LAYER ONE
-- Name: KT Elizabeth. "Aww. Haha. Shut up."
-- Birthdate: 12 Aug 88
-- Birthplace: Youngstown OH
-- Current Location: Bushwick BK NYC
-- Eye Color: blue
-- Hair Color: black brown
-- Height: 5'5"
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty.
-- Zodiac Sign: Leo sun Scorpio Rising

LAYER TWO
-- Your heritage: Deeply American. German / Welsh / English / Native American
-- The shoes you wore today: newish Neon Nikes I never wear lol.
-- Your weakness: buying things on ebay and spending money in general. "Living Normally"
-- Your fears: oh wow. um probably physical sickness problems / loans / other peoples' deaths. Existence itself?
-- Your perfect pizza: Sicilian / White Pizza w/ banana peppers (an ohio thing)
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Be a little more self sustainable for the sake of everyone else and also finish writing my film and some other scripts too. Complete an installation project and start a band. lol


LAYER THREE
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: "lol" "lmao"
-- Your thoughts first waking up: Oscar. Stop.
-- Your best physical feature: legs, I think. Personally lol
-- Your bedtime: ugh. lately far after 2:30am. Not that productive. I hate waking up early so much still.
-- Your most missed memory: every vacation ever. I would like to be a nomad and just float to other places

LAYER FOUR
-- Pepsi or Coke: COKE .... :)
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Mickey D's forever
-- Single or group dates: group dates are fun for now. But I love singles. We just do a lot of them. Luckily i suppose
-- Adidas or Nike: All Day I dream about Sex - korn
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I hate tea but i'm trying. Nestea even though my uncle used to work for Lipton.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: im in love with the coco
-- Cappuccino or coffee: I love coffee. I love cappuccino when i'm feelin like a nasty baby yaaaa.oooo.
LAYER FIVE
-- Smoke: No. still. no
-- Cuss: too much maybe
-- Sing: poorly and all the time
-- Take a shower everyday: Nope. Still a no. Oops? Doing live wrong.
-- Have a crush(es): yeah sure crush on all my idols
-- Do you think you've been in love: yes
-- Want to go to college: went. Will probably never go back. Waste.
-- Want to get married: eh not really sure honestly. I guess it doesn't matter.
-- Believe in yourself: "It's not science.. *hums* dadada number one in the world electric. Yes. Orgy moment. Sorry." keeping katie's answer here. ALSO - Yes and no.
-- Get motion sickness: I do now. In cars - while reading, music...sounds...rollercoasters. Just a bad headache.
-- Think you're attractive: When I feel attractive, if I don't I know i'm not. Still..what is attractive?
-- Think you're a health freak: I wish. I'm probably the exact opposite. My body is now paying for it.
-- Get along with your parents: Yes, mostly haha
-- Like thunderstorms: Yes.
-- Play an instrument: barely. I never got past that 2003 stage of knowing. It's ok. I think roll with the lack thereof.

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: right now hollaaa
-- Smoked: weed
-- Done a drug: yeah. I did poppers last night. Ew. lol
-- Had Sex: sure
-- Made Out: yep
-- Gone on a date: yes. my birthday
-- Gone to the mall?: nope
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreo: No.
-- Eaten sushi: yes. my neighborly spot
-- Gone skating: No.
-- Made homemade cookies: No.
-- Gone skinny dipping: No.
-- Dyed your hair: No. Need to tomorrow. thx for reminiding.
-- Stolen anything: nope
LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Nope
-- If so, was it mixed company: --
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: ugh. Why yes. Yes, I have.
-- Been caught "doing something": now that i think of it. Yes. lol not by parents tho.
-- Gotten beaten up: No.
-- Shoplifted: one time from union square forever 21 in like '08 I was like, this is dumb im just going to take it. and nothing happened, see. but i don't do that typically.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: No. obv not.

LAYER EIGHT
-- Age you hope to be married: idk. doesn't matter. Now, later, never. whatever
-- Numbers and Names of Children: hmm. maybe 1, named Johnny haha (rudy? darwin? also good names)
-- Describe your dream wedding: a low key one where I invite only VIP people with a frank sinatra impersonator on a hillside cliff in italy? idk i really don't care. Wearing Miu Miu obv.
-- How do you want to die: i remember thinking being stabbed to death when i was younger because i wanted to "feel" my last moment. Not so sure if i still want that but im just writing it. ha
-- Where you want to go to college: no. more. school.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: a psychologist, a sociologist? a filmmaker, writer, painter, film actress. ta-da. RockStar.
-- What country would you most like to visit: Wales, Italy, Thailand, Australia/New Zealand, More of Canada, Iceland of course...


LAYER NINE: In a guy/girl...
-- Best eye color? used to love brown. But now all about the blue
-- Best hair color? blonde OBVS
-- Short or long hair: always loved long. but dont care
-- Height: tall
-- Best weight: not too skinny. dad bod homerun
-- Best first date location: movies
-- Best first kiss location: playground near movie theater haha

LAYER TEN
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: meh who knows the actual response to this
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: maybe like 5 and that is pushing it probably.
-- Number of CDs that I own: a lot and they are scattered all over the place
-- Number of piercings: 2 , ears
-- Number of tattoos: None. neverrr
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: once in the vindicator lol. Ever notice that the vindicator is referenced on the newspaper at the end of goodfellas? Well it is.
-- Number of scars on my body: 2 on my face / one on my hip this is all i can remember at this time
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: ugh regret is so fleeting. I don't feel like regretting today

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o ya [28 Aug 2015|02:25am]
[ mood | touched ]

I also had a very lovely post-Bday dinner today catching up with Veronica. She treated me. We went to Max's downtown in TriBeca. I felt guilty, I hate/love being doted on. The food was great. Will definitely go back. It was nice to have a 1 on 1. Super cute and sweet. I miss her a lot. I should probably just reach out more. Her boyfriend is becoming an astronaut which is insane. Pretty fucking cool. It felt so short seeing her. Must be getting old. Or had one too many beers. Time is seriously passing. Ricky was supposed to go but he isn't feeling well and hopefully he will be better soon. I also got lost trying to find the place because I never go into Manhattan and my iPhone 4 maps is a piece of crap. It took me all the way to financial district. Being temporarily lost can be fun tho. At Least I took a photo of Alexander Hamilton's grave and sent it to Mike. Maybe i'll post. Also a bad pic of the World Trade Center. That's the actual update. Okk yyyaaa woo. K, Alrighty? Real Events. w o w

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i can't [28 Aug 2015|01:11am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Every time I try to be nice about working for an artist, I regret it.
I tried to bypass that in a previous entry. I did feel good for one second.

How is it that they are all ego maniacs that are not only competitive and bourgeois but seriously fucking clueless?

I cannot work for artists over 50 anymore. It has become completely depressing. I feel bad for them. They are constantly asking what I am doing, how I am doing it and no matter how carefully or specific I am, they never get it. They never grasp it. But that doesn't stop them from questioning my ability to down right outraging me because it's the 60th time I'm explaining the exact same scenario.

It's what I'm getting paid for right? To be parented? It feels like that. If they were respectful, I would get it. It feels like I am being undermined by someone who has more money than me and a far smaller skill set - that uses me to make their livelihood.

Instead of treating me like a human that is taking care of their child, it often feels like a stupid personal attack. If they earnestly said, "I just really don't understand. I'm sorry" or " I trust you, you know how to do this" -- There would not be a problem. It's just a constant downward spiral of countless questions that are uninformed and frantic. Literally, just not paying attention. It really is just stupidity and a lack of self awareness. Instead of worrying about me, how about figure out what you truly want and that's the real thing that will "save you money".

AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TEXTING ME RIGHT NOW AT MIDNIGHT SAYING "I'm Confused. This isn't what I saw earlier? Did you do this right?" NO IT ACTUALLY IS WHAT YOU SAW EARLIER. YOU SAW IT 50 TIMES EARLIER AND YOU LITERALLY NEVER KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU SEE OR ARE TALKING ABOUT OR WHAT YOU EVEN WANT. .. .............

It's kind of enlightening to know that artists can be so lost at a later age in their "career". Clinging to young people to make their ideas happen. It's disheartening but also there's a peace in that no one quite resolves things (the chaos). There's no real answer here I guess. It still is depressing as fuck. It makes me feel their helplessness and it also makes me so mad, they are as though they are little kids who don't know how to look something up at the library or (HELLO, GOOGLE).

It's just a reality that I make money off of for now, but it also is dismantling my character and self esteem (the one of many reasons.) I am not a bossy go-getter that talks my way into great things. I am a good (not great)technical skill person who is too nice. Always agreeing to things that I shouldn't. Aka always being taken advantage of and selling myself too short.

So many pretentious people. So entitled. And they are so fucking clueless. This is the 5th person I've dealt with like this. I worked for the other 4 for five years and I'm over it. I can't deal with it anymore, it makes me feel like I am teaching my mom how to use After Effects or fuck fuckssake paint the Sistine Chapel. It just isn't going to happen. I need to find people that don't stomp on me. People that respect me and are easier to work for. My foot is coming down. I want to be my own boss or just a stupid fucking receptionist who can bang out the work then space out in my own little word reading whatever I want. Although I do need the money. UGH

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jazzy tongues [25 Aug 2015|09:04pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

pretty soon gonna start writing in tongues again and making no sense, feelin pretty fuckin' jazzed up guys! PRETTY FUCKIN' JAZZED UP.

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blahghgh [25 Aug 2015|06:29pm]
I have so many collected items and I have no idea wtf to do with them. I just cleared out a broken useless dresser in my living room that was filled with papers. Need to put that on the street. The dresser and the papers. All my furniture are hand me down shitty ikea/cheap pieces. They are all falling apart because it's past it's 5 year lifespan. I need display cases (because what else? all my dumb shit) and better lights. It's hard working in the dark or seeing some art I have up. Basically took me all day to clean out the dresser and reorganize all the boxes I moved back from my studio. My apartment looks like a cluttered shit fuck right now. It will probably take me 4 more FULL days to feel like this process is over. I'm sure i'll span them over two months or something (realistically). I also took down all the paintings in my house today and am going to hang up these framed posters i've been meaning to for ages. Then put up new paintings from this year. It sucks to put away some paintings when the series is just not finished. I want to post photos but it's just not done yet. Also reminds me I should upload the photos I took of all of them and the others. I made 45 in my studio this year, although mostly small and abstract. Basically just gestures, nothing as thought out as I have in the past. (like they were always SO in-depth) I'm trying to get my house clean before house guests come in two weeks. It's my main excuse to get my shit together right now. Work is up in the air at the moment, I am always waiting to get paid. I think I have a website gig that will probably take up a lot of time in the next few weeks even though it's going to be shitty html. I also realized how many makeup products I have that are worthless and cheap and am never going to use again. Say bye bye. I am becoming as reductive as possible which doesn't say a lot. Here we go, microwaving my coffee again.
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about a boy [24 Aug 2015|11:30pm]
Today I worked on a few art film projects for an artist I know. It helps get me by in between freelance gigs. It's nice to see people make decisions or help them (sometimes). Working for people over 50 is a constant struggle to explain the situation though i must say. I don't mind all the time. Today was chill, not too much confusion. Sometimes it's really draining and mostly everyone has a very lengthy process and almost always make endless technical mistakes that I have to fix (lol). I think the projects are coming along nicely though and she's finally getting it out there.


Watching the new Kurt Cobain doc rn that speculates Courtney love as a part of the murder. Very interesting so far. I love crime documentaries and investigative shows about real crimes. This one is 200% better than the other one that just came out (montage of heck) which was just all fluffy and pseudo-personal. With the animations and shitty orchestra remakes of nirvana songs. Although, no matter what, these doc films are pretty biased.

I think I'm interested in the psychological aspect most of crime docs. How so many people are only fractions away of doing something "bad." The wrongfully accused also interests me. How speculation turns into hysteria. The idea that there is no definite good or bad person, but a person acting in a situation- reacting to the effects of their environments/social surroundings over time. Also the type of fact that are deemed acceptable and which people are believed over others. Which people are charismatic or rich enough to rid themselves of their action.

It gets dark fast.

But- I think I have an emotional connection to how crimes are formed psychologically through people first and what they have been through. I sympathize a lot with the emotional trauma criminals have experienced. The idea of "being crazy" i also speculate heavily. The political affects of our social construct that forces people to feel like these are the ways they have to act things out. I think all psychoanalysis is fucked. I strive to understand it and i just am not sure it is accurately explored.

Why do people on anti-depressants still kill themselves? Why do we order our thoughts this way when we know how to be 'correct'? How are we socially learning things the wrong way?
A study I just read (need reference) proved that violent and sexual images are off putting to most viewers -maybe viewers are very aware of what is real and what is not. Maybe reality is what is making everyone so unstable. Maybe after being subjected to reality it makes people make unstable decisions without thinking of consequence. What is reality? Consequences are absolved or changed when you are imprisoned by your own mind daily. Where does it start? Ending a problem internally or physically in the world? What is the change that is more 'correct', which action would 'create a solution'. But what could make someone do that?

When the government acts so fully without consequence it sets a social example for sure. Seek help and blame yourself, get blamed then go to prison and blame yourself. Think about yourself but it is always your fault even if it's not. What is justice? Everyone gets hurt somehow at some point. When you don't value one person as much as the next they try to take that value. What is value of a life? I don't know, maybe i'm not making sense. The conspiracies within ourselves are as bad as the ones outside? I will think about this some more.
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[21 Aug 2015|10:05pm]
On a lighter note: I dreamt that I was married to Leonardo Dicaprio this morning. We walked around arms linked and paparazzi stole photos of us that we didn't hide from. Typical dates- the beach, lunch. Although, he was much more in shape than he is now. Shirtless. Oiled up and tan as fuck. He did look at lot of like the photos i've been using in my Avatars. Long hair in a bun. I wasn't really attracted to him, but now I'm obv. into it. He was solid gold lol
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recent thoughts [21 Aug 2015|07:25pm]
It has been a truly long time. I always feel embarrassed for the things I have said in the past. I do feel that I need to start writing again. I am learning to not care what other people think, still. It is not beneficial for me to act elusive. I write for myself in a notebook at times but it has never flowed in the same consistency as this. I have made a lot of self-obsessed nonsensical rants about being angry and other people and menial things. Generally I have felt the same though. Social media has continuously and steadily made me feel the loneliness that I have expressed here.
I have always felt this sense of hatred towards classism. For a long time I wanted to be a part of capitalism in what I thought was a positive escape. I attached myself to this notion of being "better" than what I thought people prescribed me to. Yet, I had no understanding of where I stood or who I was. I just knew people were judging me. I wanted to leave for New York. Reading backwards, I felt a lot of jealousy and extreme misunderstanding for/from people I surrounded myself with. I wanted to have the same things that they had, but I was really angry. I also felt I wasn't worthy.
As social media has taken form, I feel that my anger has increased with time. I feel this depth of loneliness, or maybe it's more of a serious hopelessness. Not for wanting what others have but just an inability to see good or have interest in anyone/anything now. My surface attitude makes people dismiss what I have to say in person or online. Then, that makes me regress and get internally upset, without saying anything to other people for misunderstanding. People are more self righteous, less apt to hearing what anyone has to say and retreat back to the security of their own ego. Myself included. I am still in the same position I was, still struggling financially and constantly racing to pay the bills. Social media has escalated the notion that your image has to be linked to your professional life, your personal life and there is no more anonymity left in the internet. I am constantly asking myself "who am I?" I don't think I could even answer that. I hate how it is a question that people need answered. I am excessive and maximal and I like being many people and many things. Many identities describe how I feel. My job shouldn't be my identity. I don't relate to the minimal aesthetic of the elite. That aesthetic and upper-middle class reality is something I couldn't be less interested or impressed by. The circle perpetuates.
I have always struggled with image and identity and right now I have distanced myself a lot from it. I have felt a weird pressure to be more involved, more self-image based /involved because "that's what female artists do" and the other stuff "isn't that interesting" because overall females just aren't that interesting (supposedly.) It is a very weighty insecurity that has cemented a lot of my depression from my youth. The momentum of what is happening is a very sad representation of capitalist realism and our culture. It makes me feel upset but have a clear understanding of my younger self and what I have turned into. I now no longer wish to have the same things or be a part of that system --but all of the obsessions that I had are relative to it. All relative to a system that organizes peoples' worth based on interest / class / image. I've considered therapy but I realize that it is not all my fault and it's much more than looking into yourself or into your parents (who are also formed by the system). It is a political problem. Classism is real and the guilt and insecurities are not only my problem.

The more I distance myself and make messy constructed images the less interest people have in what I am trying to do. Which is also hard to accept, but the elitist gallery/social system is fueled from within, not an aspiration on any level. Even to be called an artist seems irrelevant to me. Making things for myself is all that I find interesting. I struggle to find a balance at times, I want to show people work but I don't think it's gratifying. There is no reaching other people without this effect of this fake "realism" and fleeting quick instances of satisfaction that people constantly need to feel. I have become a very anxious person that has a really difficult time seeing any reason to do anything or continue doing anything. Why be a part of it? Why do I sometimes want it/need this affirmation? I find it hard to even motivate myself at all most of the time.
I am working on a project with an internet friend from 1999 (Katie) to resurface an old chat platform that we met on that allows people to communicate with 2d avatars. I feel that it is necessary to bring this back into the light because I really can no longer communicate on the internet without a lot of cynicism. I need some sense of mystery or gradual interest in others, not this prison entry formal presentation of a person's life stats. I don't want people to know everything about me online, I don't want to have to post my political affiliations or be forced to like/ agree to something in this massive system of fake community. That people are "really doing something" by feeding into this social destruction. I would like to just have a conversation with a human being that isn't trying to prove they are a great person that lives a satisfying life or a cynical person obsessed with the worth of self image.
Simplifying things have never been my strong suit. I've always been embarrassed for who I am, and my reactionary traits. The embellishments and excessiveness. I accept that I am not well received, but all of the pressures of this new structure still bother me. It makes me feel so vulnerable and also like I know no one. I have regressed a lot, or maybe I am just more aware of people.
I am really excited about resurfacing this chat platform. It's really all that is keeping me interested at the moment. It isn't going to be easily but it will be worth it eventually.
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[13 Dec 2009|08:14pm]
i'm pretty dumb and moody, as seen in the past
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[06 Jun 2009|11:48pm]
when someone signs a letter with, "i absolutely love you" ....how could you ever think they were wrong
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[26 Oct 2008|11:43pm]
thinking invalidates what you're feeling.
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roughly translated [27 Aug 2008|11:52pm]
"i made up my mind. the world is made up of two kind of girls, the simple girl and the katie girl. im the katie girl. WHERE are our drinks?" //sex and the city
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[25 Aug 2008|11:16pm]
I'm in a place where complaining doesn't really justify anything. I am apathetic and everyone is sick of it anyway. I'm looking for things in my past to compensate for my present. It is only resulting in the same effect as it had in the past and i'm setting myself up to be disappointed in the same fashion, that really..isn't all that disappointing, and perhaps that is the reason why. I am displeased with people who act opposite of me these days, i am looking for something similar to myself even if there is no common interests. A tight bond would be something i could appreciate for the first time in my life, i think. I am surrounded by surroundings, and that is exactly that. Nothing in particular makes me want to sway. I stand the same way i always have, the hunch back of notre dame..and centrally focused. Pretty bent out of shape. I'm not as influenced by those in my life as one may think. "Being long distance is exactly what it is. not being together. but being apart." That is the route i have chosen for several go arounds, and it does what i need it to. But as of this point on, i'm disinterested in that aspect.
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[16 Aug 2008|11:02am]
it will no longer work out
because i no longer want it to
i've always had you wrapped around my finger
nice people do not always finish last
i'm straight ahead of you.
my dog howls at the moon and in the day
traffic does not stop for your fat ass
and neither do i.
i can predict the future,
i know you'll always want me
thank god i'm alive
but this next time i have enough spit in my mouth
to fill both of your eyes.
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[20 Jul 2008|12:55am]
suh suh suh suffurin

am i no

the healing power is dividing me from my body and it is taking its good old time my mind is not full of worries or full of sounds, i love from a distance i walk and i answer but you say i have a one track mind and he says i only think of myself well no one will make decisions except for i, and that is why i am where i am today although i may be watching and waiting when it cums it will be history and you will regret the way you feel because some people just know, and you are not one of them
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[16 Jul 2008|10:17pm]
"what the fuck"
" you say that a lot"
I know and i mean it
I MEAN IT
I MEAN IT
sometimes you just gotta take chill pills
but
sometimes they make you think about
things you don't need to
and wonder who you are
i didn't cry
but i threw up for the first time
life is demanding
ARE YOU UNNNDERSTAAANDING
?
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[13 Jul 2008|10:51am]
if you smile more, it makes you happier.
I can almost read your mind.
black and blue until the brand new grows
it's healing
i feel it in my bones the drums are taking over
it is the aura of the spirit that has permeated into my skin
and now you will never find me a unless it is within
the bottomless pit of recreation
hit it one more time because that one time is every time
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honestly [09 Jul 2008|08:43pm]
it's not like you love me
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