Medicine

orgyflake @ 2009-12-13T20:14:00

2009-12-14T01:14:08Z

i'm pretty dumb and moody, as seen in the past

orgyflake @ 2009-06-06T23:48:00

2009-06-07T03:49:10Z

when someone signs a letter with, "i absolutely love you" ....how could you ever think they were wrong

orgyflake @ 2008-10-26T23:43:00

2008-10-27T03:51:53Z

thinking invalidates what you're feeling.

roughly translated

2008-08-28T03:55:51Z

"i made up my mind. the world is made up of two kind of girls, the simple girl and the katie girl. im the katie girl. WHERE are our drinks?" //sex and the city

orgyflake @ 2008-08-25T23:16:00

2008-08-26T03:34:13Z

I'm in a place where complaining doesn't really justify anything. I am apathetic and everyone is sick of it anyway. I'm looking for things in my past to compensate for my present. It is only resulting in the same effect as it had in the past and i'm setting myself up to be disappointed in the same fashion, that really..isn't all that disappointing, and perhaps that is the reason why. I am displeased with people who act opposite of me these days, i am looking for something similar to myself even if there is no common interests. A tight bond would be something i could appreciate for the first time in my life, i think. I am surrounded by surroundings, and that is exactly that. Nothing in particular makes me want to sway. I stand the same way i always have, the hunch back of notre dame..and centrally focused. Pretty bent out of shape. I'm not as influenced by those in my life as one may think. "Being long distance is exactly what it is. not being together. but being apart." That is the route i have chosen for several go arounds, and it does what i need it to. But as of this point on, i'm disinterested in that aspect.

orgyflake @ 2008-08-16T11:02:00

2008-08-16T15:10:40Z

it will no longer work out
because i no longer want it to
i've always had you wrapped around my finger
nice people do not always finish last
i'm straight ahead of you.
my dog howls at the moon and in the day
traffic does not stop for your fat ass
and neither do i.
i can predict the future,
i know you'll always want me
thank god i'm alive
but this next time i have enough spit in my mouth
to fill both of your eyes.

orgyflake @ 2008-07-20T00:55:00

2008-07-20T05:02:06Z

suh suh suh suffurin

am i no

the healing power is dividing me from my body and it is taking its good old time my mind is not full of worries or full of sounds, i love from a distance i walk and i answer but you say i have a one track mind and he says i only think of myself well no one will make decisions except for i, and that is why i am where i am today although i may be watching and waiting when it cums it will be history and you will regret the way you feel because some people just know, and you are not one of them

orgyflake @ 2008-07-16T22:17:00

2008-07-17T02:21:02Z

"what the fuck"
" you say that a lot"
I know and i mean it
I MEAN IT
I MEAN IT
sometimes you just gotta take chill pills
but
sometimes they make you think about
things you don't need to
and wonder who you are
i didn't cry
but i threw up for the first time
life is demanding
ARE YOU UNNNDERSTAAANDING
?

orgyflake @ 2008-07-13T10:51:00

2008-07-13T14:59:22Z

if you smile more, it makes you happier.
I can almost read your mind.
black and blue until the brand new grows
it's healing
i feel it in my bones the drums are taking over
it is the aura of the spirit that has permeated into my skin
and now you will never find me a unless it is within
the bottomless pit of recreation
hit it one more time because that one time is every time

honestly

2008-07-10T00:44:58Z

it's not like you love me

orgyflake @ 2008-06-30T01:36:00

2008-06-30T05:40:09Z

even though it's silly, i never feel ashamed posting words of the great or those that inspire me, so here goes:

"Oh nothing's going to change my love for you
I wanna spend my life with you
So we make love on the grass under the moon
No one call tell, damned if I do
Forever journey on golden avenues
I drift in your eyes since I love you
I got that beat in my veins for only rule
Love is to share, mine is for you"

someone had to sing it and mean it

orgyflake @ 2008-06-26T14:51:00

2008-06-26T18:52:22Z

to quote red about depeche mode:
"anything from violator on is shit....
like a girl who wears too much makeup"

orgyflake @ 2008-06-26T03:06:00

2008-06-26T07:07:54Z

i should sleep....soon.

orgyflake @ 2008-05-30T01:06:00

2008-05-30T05:07:21Z

i hate trying when people don't want anything
i understand why you say nothing
even if you do not want it
but we are so young and you can take it so far
if you only want it

orgyflake @ 2008-04-20T22:39:00

2008-04-21T04:00:12Z

i wish this was me

orgyflake @ 2008-03-15T19:28:00

2008-03-15T23:29:08Z

I need someone to blow my mind.

orgyflake @ 2008-03-15T02:06:00

2008-03-15T06:13:45Z

My hair will never be blonde again, this black has consumed my natural state. I can hear my neighbors having sex. It reminds me of how every feeling I've ever felt towards anyone is so imaginary. I only like any of you because I think of you a certain way. It's funny how there is such a fine line between pain and pleasure. I convinced myself that my hair wasn't black, but a dark shade of brown. Sex never sounds beautiful, it just sounds like hurt. This thing on my neck hurts, and all the hurt that I feel is so unnecessary. More like a hex than real problems. Although I must admit, much better problems than those involving outsiders. I lost my room key. To my advantage, it keeps me from leaving, just the way I wished it would be. Inside myself without anyone else.

orgyflake @ 2008-02-27T02:47:00

2008-02-27T08:02:39Z

i may not be the best at what i do
but there is an honesty in it
that you can't look away from
it makes you want to know me better.

orgyflake @ 2008-02-18T23:42:00

2008-02-19T04:42:23Z

I thought you were inside me but
the water does not crash the shore
when you stand upon a bridge

the grass and the trees
no longer stain my knees
you have gone away, but my longing will stay.

the hills look like pebbles,
I forgive you for the ocean and the sea,
but the sand still weighs me down.

you wanted to see what i looked like underneath,
if there is white skin or blood on the sheets,
because being with someone
you know nothing about
is better than being without.

orgyflake @ 2008-02-10T21:29:00

2008-02-11T02:32:12Z

i don't wanna start evil,
but i might as well give it a try.

orgyflake @ 2008-01-22T01:44:00

2008-01-22T06:59:41Z

my head is taking too many lines. where will i be. what am i doing. what do i want. this is no good. this is too fast. there is nothing here.. people are leaving. i am leaving. "I am falling for you katie" i think it makes him jealous. he wants to make me jealous too. stupid slut. by playing this game, he says in theory, let's be best friends so i can always sort of love you while i fuck every girl i've ever wanted to before we can be together. and i say, that's sort of okay, i'm just worried about finding someone worthy of my love that isn't you.

orgyflake @ 2008-01-01T15:38:00

2008-01-01T20:38:59Z

no new years kiss

orgyflake @ 2007-12-31T21:20:00

2008-01-01T02:22:12Z

women are never artists because they always give up and get married.

waiting to be changed

2007-12-27T19:57:13Z

I always think everything is about me
i am done thinking
i am just going to do
and if it doesn't work out
i'll change.
i can't wait to grow into myself
and realize it happen this time
watch my hair reach great lengths
as i reach long distances
to initially hold your hand
on a quest to eliminate all that is bad

orgyflake @ 2007-11-26T00:09:00

2007-11-26T05:10:01Z

I hadn't closed me eyes. I refreshed them with water. I soaked the end of my head and covered it. I got into a car and got back out with no recollection of the distance. We walked right in, quick, nervous and they were gone before i could even say goodbye. I walked onto the structure and filed in just like everyone else. Carrying my life, i set it down with care.
"Would you like some gum?" I asked, like the lady that i was staring at on my last flight previously asked me.
"No, you are so nice!" her voice was high and soft and strange. She was meekly beautiful.
As the waiting decreased the noises melted over my skull and i floated in and out of consciousness. I didn't sleep, but the lighting was perfect darkness, the kind where you can see everything. Such a dark grey that appeased to my eyes in some sort of twilight. It encrypted itself in my memory and allowed me to experience a settling senesation that eliminated all of my back pain.
I thought of dying. I washed the thought in my mind and how it was ironic that the flight attendent was explaining how we could use our seats as floatation devices when we weren't flying over water. No one was watching.
I thought about the most death defying moment in my life. I can't say how old I was, somewhere between 10 and 12. My cousin was visiting for the summer from Michigan and we were outside in my grandmother's inground pool. She is eight years older than me and at the time, about triple my size. We used an air mattress as a flotation device and it nearly took up half of the pool. While my grandmother wasn't looking, we liked to play dangerous games on the diving board. My cousin would jump off the diving board onto the mattress, where i would be sitting, and see how high i would bounce. This time in particular, I fell in, underneath the mattress and my cousin. I was pushed deep into the water and all I could hear was the sound of time stopping and air bubbles. I tried to come up for air, but the mattress was above me. All the force in the world couldn't have moved it. I felt so helpless. My eyes were closed. My bones started to tighten with fear and I wanted to gasp desparately.

I wish i could go to the restaurant Chilli's.